Mile 0.5 - Bye Crossgates! Bye Jeff's Cell Phone! Bye worst sign ever!
Mile 1.3 - Speaking of terrible signs, Jeff and Jon pass by a sign that read "Just Cabinets &"
Just Cabinets AND WHAT EXACTLY???
Mile 1.9 - Jon sees Johnny Janosik and gets all excited.
He starts doing a bit -- "Johnny Janosik in Laurel. The LONGEST Store on the Shore with the SHORTEST prices." Jeff doesn't laugh. Jon wishes his sisters were here. They would understand his very sophisticated level of humor. For realz.
Mile 2.2 - Jon misses a sign for "T & A Paintball." Of course he does.
Mile 9.7 - Jeff and Jon on the way to Frederica. FREDERICA PEOPLE!
Mile 9.9 - Jeff and Jon are on the lookout for a very important sign. For some weird reason, Jon seems convinced that they are going to miss it.
Mile 11.1 - We're here! We are in the Geographic Center of Delaware!
Nothing's gonna stop us now!
Except for Jefferson's Airplane.
Or Jefferson's Starship.
Or Starship.
Or whoever the f*ck sings that song.
Mile 13.2 - Camp Lenape! Jon used to work there!
Mile 15.4 - We're on Johnny Cake Landing. Somehow this becomes hilarious to Jeff and Jon. The rest of the world scratches their head in shame and disgust.
Mile 16.0 - Jeff realizes that the Senior Center of Federica is the newest thing in Frederica. This doesn't bode well...
Mile 21.4 - Vicki Lawrence attacks Jon's iPod. It's the beginning of the end.
Mile 22.9 - Jeff discovers a little place called "Slaughter Beach."
He suddenly gets very scared. He is convinced that this road trip will be over before it even starts.
Mile 28.1 - Jeff is still traumatized by Slaughter Beach.
(East Infection Delaware Delaware Folklore Trivia of the Day -- There are at least two stories of where Slaughter Beach's name came from: The first is that it was named after William Slaughter, A local postmaster in the mid 1800s. The second story claims the name came from the horseshoe crabs that wash up on shore and die each year. They come near shore to shallow water to lay their eggs and the low tide strands them leaving them to die, thus the "slaughter.")
Mile 28.9 - Jeff informs Jon that he totally missed a sign that says "Slaughter Neck." Jon wonders if Jeff is going to need to be put "in a home."
Mile 30.7 - Jeff and Jon drive by a sign that reads "Stop In and Smell the Produce." They don't stop.
Mile 34.2 - AHHHHHH!!! We're in Broadkill Beach! Jeff declares that Delaware is very murder-y. Jon declares that he is gonna murder Jeff.
Mile 42.8 - Three words - Perms. And. Worms.
Mile 44.5 - We've entered Rehomo!
Mile 46.8 - We made it! We're at the best "themed" Bed and Breakfast ever. It's all very exciting!
4 comments:
JEFF! I still love you. Donna and I (and an ex who shall remain nameless because he's criminally insane) took a trip to Slaughter Beach about a millennium ago. WORST EPISODE EVER! Traffic was so bad, it took us 300 hours to get there from his house - NEAR WILMINGTON. And the sea was angry that day, my friend. So angry, that as soon as I got in the surf, it pushed me under like Jason and dumped about 10 lbs. of sand in my cookie area. Then we couldn't find public showers. So we left. The End. Period.
HOLD EVERYTHING!!!!! Is there anyway you can get me that "worst sign ever" with the soon to be killed girl on the bike? I am dead serious. Seriously. Please. Or give me more info so I can order one. I need it. Desperately. I cannot continue reading your blog until I receive some information on this matter. And in future, if you come across any comically tragic women in peril signs, please think of me. Have I mentioned lately that I adore you both? xo
Mary! My dad knows people! The sign is all yours!
Johnny Janosik post needed have an embedded sound effect! Did Jeff hear the accent? That beautiful music to my ears? Slower lower Delaware, baby!
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