Now that doesn't mean that I don't have a good time when I'm there. It just means that I know deep down in my heart of hearts that if I lived there for more than three months...I would end up wandering through Central Park in nothing but camouflage shorts and a tiara, muttering to myself that Carrie Bradshaw was "full of caca."
However, this gayrageous over-exaggeration doesn't mean that I didn't have a great time in NYC for the past two days. Thanks to Aaron and Anne, this portion of East Infection 2008 was filled with plenty of NewYorkJoy.
We had Tapas and Sangria at "1492" on the Lower East Side...
...including Chorizo and Cheese Chupa Chups (a.k.a.: meat & cheese deep fried lollipops)!
We found a place that sold Tastykake Kandy Kakes at 1 in the morning!
And despite what this picture may indicate, we had a great time checking out the NYC nightlife! (Seriously. On more than one occasion, I said to Jeff: "Why don't I hate it here?")
However, things took a turn for the worse on Wednesday afternoon.
It had nothing to do with Anne, Aaron, or even New York City. It was the moment when I relinquished my navigation duties to Jeff.
Jeff wanted to surprise me with a mystery place for lunch. He explained that it was only a mile away from Aaron's place. He even Google Mapped it out to plan out our walking route.
Jeff insisted on keeping the actual location a secret, so I went along with the bit. All I knew was that the mystery location was located around 7th Avenue and Christopher.
We walked.
And walked.
And walked some more.
We kept looking for our turn onto Christopher Street off of 6th Avenue. But we just couldn't seem to find it.
About fifty minutes into the walk, I asked Jeff if he thought we missed it. He explained that the "numbers were going up" so we were on the right track.
As it turns out, we weren't.
I blame myself for not pointing out twenty minutes in that we clearly had gone more than a mile. But we were still somewhat out of it from the night before. We hadn't even taken a shower yet. And we hadn't eaten anything all day but a mini-breakfast at Au Bon Pain. Neither one of us were really in the best place to navigate anything.
Once we became certifiably lost (somewhere in the Tribeca neighborhood), we finally asked a cop for directions. He explained that we were a half hour walk away and we should probably take a cab. It was rush hour by this point, so a cab was useless. Instead, the two of us managed to hop on the proper subway train and twenty minutes later...we were there.
"There" turned out to the establishment know as the "world famous Jekyll and Hyde Restaurant and Bar of Greenwich Village."
For those that aren't "in the know," the world famous Jekyll and Hyde Restaurant and Bar of Greenwich Village is a themed established that is supposed to be like a haunted mansion...in restaurant form. Instead, it's the place where one frustrated actor tortures tourists with the "hilarious" bits involving talking animatronic wall decorations (mummies, mad scientists, etc.).
When we arrived...sweaty, smelly, and ever so slightly cranky...the animatronic werewolf head was heckling a family from Atlantic City. They were heckling the werewolf right back.
Did I mention the Werewolf spoke with a heavy lisp?
I'm sure if the two of us hadn't gotten all turned around in the supposedly easy to get around city, we would have enjoyed the "show." Instead, it felt more painful than that time we sat through "Happy Days : the Musical," starring Joey McEntire as the Fonz...the night before Carjoy.
Things went from bad to worse when the mummy (and that stupid family from Atlantic City) started giving us shit for being from Los Angeles.
It was at that moment that the Jekyll and Hyde Restaurant And Bar became Jeff's "Beck Motor Lodge"/"Someone Pooped In It" incident.
* * *
Despite the Jekyll and Hyde disaster of 2008 and my weird paranoid gay homeless nightmare, I really do enjoy all that NYC has to offer.
Especially, when it provides me with the inspiration and the requisite props to take the following photo at 7:45 in the morning...
Seriously. That place is magical.
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