I Went To Rehoboth and All I Got Were Some Lousy Crabs (Although they weren't lousy)

I'd never been to Rehoboth Beach before yesterday. I've heard of it through Jon, who refers to it as "Rehomo" because of the high percentage of 'mos who frequent the city. In fact, when I told my friend's mother that I was going to Rehoboth the other day, she laughed and said, "Of course you are."

Ofcourseshedid.

After arriving in Rehoboth and getting our bearings at the lesbian-owned Bewitched Bed & Breakfast, Jon and I walked to the beach and found the "gay area"--which officially begins at "Queen Street." Ofcourseitdoes.

OfcourseIam

We wandered around and explored the ocean life...

A rare Beach Mermaid

AHHH! RustyLandFish!

...guarded some lives at the verycrowded beach...
...and then headed off to dinner at a local Crabbery, which was recommended to us by the guy at the Bed & Breakfast. He was even helpful enough to give us directions (Drive north until you pass the Jippy Loo!) and, once we deciphered that he meant "Jiffy Lube" we came upon Lazy Susans!
Despite growing up on the east coast, I'd never had real, fresh crabs before and the whole process was a little overwhelming:

The Arrival

The Inspection

The Attempt

The Failure.

To be honest, I didn't see what all the fuss was about. I couldn't even chew on them! Then Jon told me that I had to hammer the shit out of them and break their shell open before devouring them, and that made a lot more sense.

Jon: "Don't be an idiot"

Jeff: "Oh."

After a few moments, my primal instincts took over and I really got into the groove of ripping open another creature and devouring its innards. DELICIOUS! Afterwards...

Burp!

...Jon and I went to a couple of the local gay bars. Jon wanted to head to the Blue Moon (for reasons which he will get into in his post) first. It was more crowded than I expected for a small beach town on a Monday night... but it was about as sad as I thought it would be. It was essentially like walking into a bad episode of Queer As Folk. Afterwards, we went to the Aqua Grille because A: There were only about seven other people in it and B: one of them was a hot, shirtless waiter from Serbia.

After we drank a little bit of our faces off, Jon and I went for a walk and discovered a late-night ice cream shoppe featuring hundreds of extremely random and off-putting flavors which, of course, are perfect for the intoxicated.


Since bacon always makes me feel better after drinking, we decided to taste-test it...
...which did not end well for Jon:

That is NOT Kosher!

We then each got a scoop of the most delicious flavor ever:

Little bits of my favorite TastyKake product, mixed in with Peanut Butter ice cream was the perfect antidote to the poison devil-made bacon ice cream which, sadly, I can still feel in my teeth almost 24 hours later.

Now we're in Cape May, NJ--and you'll hear all about that... later.